“What you think about me is none of my business”
This was first said to me about fifteen years ago as a way to get the last word in a difficult exchange. And it worked. I was stumped for something further to add to an already awkward conversation. Because it essentially cut me off at the knees, I’ve been thinking about it. For fifteen years.
I think this is a fine, reassuring statement for a child or even a teenager. A more civilized version of “I don’t care what you think about me! NYAH NYAH!” I see & hear it everywhere now. Makes me cringe.
At what point as adults should we care about what others think of us? Because I certainly DO care what you think of me and it should be my business to build & maintain a reputation of sorts: in my relationships, in my marriage, with my family, at work and even online. I value my employer’s viewpoint in my skills and weak points. It pains me when I hurt someone’s feelings. If someone is upset with me, I want to know about it, so we can fix it. Or at least talk about it and attempt to come to a mutual understanding, even if it takes some time & distance.
That quote isn’t one of self-empowerment as I see & hear it used, but of dismissal. A verbal flip of the hand. And handily enough, it absolves the quoter from responsibility, as it’s now the recipient’s problem solely.
Is it just easier to say we don’t care? Even when we do? Especially when we do? Who does it serve?
I know, I know. You’re rubber and I’m glue.